Dear Followers,

Since we have moved this Blog to http://www.sortmylife.org , I felt kind of sorry for my first Blog here, with the Blogger. It's like it is left out, all by itself! So here I am, posting a copy of my latest article here. It is about analysing what factors might be pulling you down, leaving you Dream-less.

What if you don’t have a Dream?

Juvenile aspirations are no longer valid. Opportunities are missed. Whatever is achieved does not seem to be valuable enough. No energy or desire to set goals for the future. In other words, midlife crisis. Read on to get an idea of how to get out of this swamp of low emotions.

Step 1.  Formation. Get an understanding of where you are now.  How did you get there?

“Experience is not what happens to you; It is what you do with what happens to you.” Aldous Huxley

There are thousands of factors that influence our life and our emotions. Some of these factors are:
-          Life stages
-          Life choices
-          Family/Friends
-          Events besides your control
-          Education
-          Cultural environment

Become more aware of who you are today, what is your image, how are your actions and habits affecting people around you. What knowledge do you already posses and what do you feel remains as unclaimed knowledge? If you could take a magic wand and change certain outcomes in your life – what would they be?

Now, knowing what you know about your work and position in today’s society, ask that magic wand to give only those things that are really necessary. Write it down: what would they be?

Step 2. Obstacles. Decide, what is stopping you from making changes for the better.

OK, time to find those stoppers but not blame anyone. “Man is not the creature of circumstances. Circumstances are the creatures of men.” Benjamin Disraeli.

Identify what you can do to overcome or eliminate the obstacles or how you could possibly transform your current circumstances into positive opportunities.

Think of the things that may have been stopping you from achieving 100%. It is quite easy to go on with your current life, even if you are not quite happy with yourself. We manage our lives through conditioning and habit, there is not much to resist. Only the dissatisfaction with yourself. As your awareness grows and you grow within your knowledge, so does the dissatisfaction of non-achievement! That’s when you start to feel that it might be time for Change.

Time for Change is the Time of Realisation. This is when you understand that it is time to change your…

-          Emotion (E-Motion = Energy in Motion). It takes the same amount of energy to create positive or negative emotion. So why not to spend that energy wisely? Work out your own Energy Spending Map: resourceful and non-resourceful zones. Are you getting stressed, negative and angry too often or are you training yourself to be philosophical and calm?

-          Society Mirror – is more often than not an induced fiction we have collectively agreed to participate in through the hypnosis of social conditioning. “He is comparing me…” “She thinks I’m stupid…” “They don’t want to deal with me” etc, etc, etc. – how many hurtful messages are we sending to ourselves on a daily basis!

Constantly challenge this out-of-date reality when it sends you messages of such inadequacy!

-          Parental and Teacher Influences – Aren’t we all a bit guilty of the fact that we have developed a good number of complexes because of those whose direct task was to educate us and to wish us better?!
A sting of criticism is stronger than a balm of praise. We develop a very limited belief or expectation of ourselves and perform accordingly for the remainder of our life. Unless we are fortunate enough to learn how to re-programme ourselves.

We need to spend more time building children than repairing adults.
Step 3. Choices. Realise the life you want to lead. What choices do you have?

It is your programming that has created your choices in the past (events, society judgement, education choices). It is the choices that you make today that are creating the programmes of your future.

It is time to think about how we want our lives to be and to begin forming goals or reviewing existing goals for further change and development in life. Through your new, well realised, choices, you will create your new life, and take responsibility for your own self-determination.

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” Rumi

Start with your own self: your image, your smile and understanding of people. Work on yourself to progress. See the results and then get on with bigger plans in life.

Step 4. Good change. Time to get those special techniques which will help you overcome your resistance to change and discover the New You.

Many of the challenges we have in everyday life rise from the conflict between your own self and Time. We think that we can’t afford the time to work at instituting a new image or a new behaviour. The reality is, naturally, that we cannot afford not to do it!

Start from reframing the problem. Instead of saying you are overwhelmed with tasks to do and you don’t have the time or resources, see what happens if you say:

“I have enough time to do the necessary research because this will get me to where I want to be!”

See what happens. What seems to be impossible to achieve today, if you work on it with dedication, may become a fact of life tomorrow. Isn’t it worth trying? Just for once:  a couple of hours of research on the topic that has been bothering you for a long while and you might feel almost an expert! How would being an ‘expert’ make you feel?

Here are a few helpful tools on how to feel stronger, more powerful and progress:

1. Be aware
2. Positive self-talk
3. Recognise your achievements and celebrate them
4. Be able to forgive and be the bigger person
5. Take time, relax and recharge
6. See the world from other people’s perspective
7. Think “abundance” rather than “lack”
8. Feel your Passion!

Start afresh right now!

We have moved!

Check this out, this is our new website for Cherry Blossom Women, which will be updated with practical, down to earth advice on the weekly basis http://sortmylife.org/
We look forward to seeing you becoming more Powerful than even, meet you at http://sortmylife.org/
Yours,
Katya 

Actual Step by Step Help

So what is Cherry Blossom for women all about? You’ve been receiving news and articles from us for a while now. How can we help you?

Cherry Blossom Coaching can help you to:
-          Lead you through various stages of your career or personal transition;
-          Help you to understand and deal with emotions and challenges that come with the Change, when starting a new venture or when re-framing your personal life;
-          Work together on Goal Setting, using strong psychological foundations for achieving in the future;
-          Find your niche, discover the value of your business idea, strengthen your knowledge in the chosen market;
-          Learn how to impress and influence your future clients, business partners; or how to influence the most important people in your life;
-          Get a practical knowledge, learn to analyze and apply the latest marketing models, if in business;
-          Learn flexibility in personal life, but don’t be a pushover;
-          Develop and Action Plan and stick to it, while learning to be clever and flexible

Remember: everything starts from a thought. Without a thought there will be no action.

Very important also to remember that success, a-priori, starts with the positive mindset. So, all my clients, without a fail, first go through re-framing into a positive life-approach and through building up their self-belief and self-esteem.

No matter what the nature of the business is, the fundamentals are the same.

So now you know a little bit more about what we can give you. And we invite you to take up a Pre-Christmas Express Challenge.

Challenge yourself, challenge your life right now (4 weeks Express Programme) and enter the New Year as a complete New You.

 I offer you a Challenge right now: 40% off normal costs if you take our Express Programme and mention this post to me: new-me@cherryblossomcoach.com

To take advantage of this discount, bookings should be made strictly within 7 days of the publish date of this post.

 

Opportunities for you

 

These are the Chinese characters for Change.

The core of the first character represents the words: transform, rebel, revolt, flexible. While the core of the second character represents the words: make corrections, replace, experience.

So when you are going for a change in your life, keep in mind the following:

Rebel against these factors in order to transform and remember to be flexible

Ø  Loss of structure and security
Ø  Loss of self-confidence
Ø  Financial worries
Ø  Family stress
Ø  Feelings of rejection
Ø  Incapability with someone close to you
Ø  Bitter feelings about the past
Ø  Unhappiness with the present

Replace your life with these opportunities and treat your transformation as a positive experience

Ø  Define a new future
Ø  Re-establish confidence based on personal strengths
Ø  Freedom and flexibility in the use of time
Ø  See new possibilities in everything around you
Ø  Create new structure and security
Ø  Find new ways to meet people
Ø  Learn something new, every day
Ø  Renew a sense of purpose
Ø  Focus on a better future

I want to change my life!

I want to change my life, you say. I am not satisfied with the way I live now.

Some people don’t know where to start. Others may have an idea where to start but then feel completely overwhelmed with the amount of available information. And after all, it might be just too scary to face the unknown.

Quit my 9-5 job, move somewhere else

‘How is it going to be if I change my life around? Quit my 9 to 5 job… Move cities or even countries… Open my own business..’

Do you regard yourself as clever and successful? Successful people create circumstances. Unsuccessful - get buried under the circumstances. They find validation for why this or that is not working out. They justify their failures or ‘no luck’.

You can start right this moment!

What if I told you that right now you have absolutely everything you need to start changing your life around and getting positive, inspiring results? You might find it hard to believe, but you can, indeed, start right now, this very moment. Just decide what you want to do, create a burning desire or vision of your ideal future. Now, think what could be your first step towards achieving your Dream?

‘The only real limitation on your abilities is the level of your desires. If you want it badly enough, there are no limits on what you can achieve." -- Brian Tracy

What shall I do?

Many of us like to talk about problems, like to blame ‘circumstances’, like to go into endless discussions and amazing reasoning why something is not possible. Others keep chasing “secrets” in books and internet, searching for a magical answer to the everlasting question: “What shall I do?” And some people go a bit over board, inserting in Google “Sort my life!”

So what SHOULD you do? Stop searching for special secrets. There are no secrets. There are only techniques proven over the centuries, total focus and action. Imagine your Dream. Build your plan. And TAKE ACTION!

And as you do start changing your life into the way you want it to be, remember:

Your potential has no limits!

If you will conquer your thoughts and change the perception of yourself, you will be able to change your life to how you want it to be.

 

 

Should I leave him?

So you cannot go on like that anymore. You love him, sure,  (or so you think) but it’s just not working out. In any “department”. But hold on, the bedroom department, is actually quite good… Who cares now? You haven’t lived under one roof for over half a year. Every now and then you would get together because you are still used to each other and spend a steamy night. It all seems better after such night: problems kind of drift away and you are quietly whispering to yourself “See, you cannot live without me! Ha!”

But before you know it, problems creep back in again. The magic of that “every now and then” night wears off and you feel that you are facing the same old disagreements and misunderstanding. Cold shoulder. And, to be completely honest, you cannot really stand his life approach. There are a lot of things that just annoy you about him: he spends way too much time with his mother, he is far from being romantic, he is just not the type of person you always dreamt about. He is not your type. But leaving him seems like an improbable venture.  

This is the moment when you need to take a time out of your love-emotions, sit down and think logically. Take a piece of paper and a pen if you need to see a clearer picture before your eyes. Paper can take everything, so start writing!

Write down all the ‘pros’ = handsome, clever, his salary and future career are promising, he is a good father to your child (if applicable), honest. OK, now the ‘cons’ = doesn’t give you enough attention, spends all the time either at work or with his mother, too scrupulous with money, you have children together but he still hasn’t proposed to you, even after 6 years together. I am giving you an example from my past but obviously everyone’s situation is different. You will have points on your list that are typical to your own situation.

Have a good look at all these points, pay special attention to the ‘pros’ part of the list. You man deserves it, no matter how mad you are with him at present. Refer to Personality Types http://cherryblossomcoach.blogspot.co.nz/p/personality-types.html  Think: how you can press the right buttons with him? What is HIS language of love? For example for my ex-husband, the “language of love” was to be completely domesticated, to clean, cook, wash, scrub etc. And he would completely clam up and play deaf if I was asking him to go out with me: take me out for dinner or just take a walk through the city.

Are you prepared to talk his language of love and work for your relationship? Going through the analysis of different personality types, you might discover that you are totally prepared to change your ways for him and that your relationship is worth saving.

You might decide otherwise. Leaving a relationship is always difficult. You should be prepared to face not just financial and technical problems, but also lots of emotional stress. Most of the times, these are the simplest things: such as sitting down for a cup of tea in the evening and exchanging a few phrases or taking a stroll during the weekend; curling up together on the couch to watch a movie or giving your baby a bath together. You must be able to give yourself an honest answer: if I was to leave him, will I be able to overcome multiple spurs to get back with him? Weigh your situation: would you rather put up with his bad points and be with him OR start a fresh life without him where you will have to overcome your habits?

It took me 3 times to finally leave my ex- husband. I kept going back because it was an easier, more familiar life. Being without him meant being able to overcome difficulties by myself, alone. The desire to get back into my comfort zone was overwhelming. Even 5 months along after the final, 3^rd split, my heart was looking for excuses to go back. But the logical mind kept saying: there is nothing to do there, you’ve tried enough times.

Sticking to my new independent life was hard but I knew that eventually I would become happier and my self-esteem would come back. I knew that eventually my heart would get in harmony with my mind. I just need to be strong and keep going.

There is, however, also a different way. An easy and quick way because it is a way down. Don’t even need to do anything, just fold down your wings and fall. Falling, falling – and here is the rock bottom. There are no inner-battles there, feels good. By nature, this way is more approachable for us, the Law of Gravity works, you see. Free fall and ‘Ah, I wanted it so much!’  Yes, the euphoria of free fall cannot be compared with the difficulties of climbing up. But if we do choose the free fall, what is waiting for us down there? Pain from hitting the bottom, disappointment and loss of self-esteem, as well as loss of respect of some people. Possibly even loss of HIS respect. Will he respect you coming back again and again? So if you did decide to leave him in the first place, stick to your decision and be a strong woman. Don’t fall.

We all have different situations. Make sure that whatever way you choose, you need to feel that your mind and heart are living in harmony.

 

Acknowledge the problem, find the solution

Cherry Blossom Coach: Acknowledge the problem, find the solution: We are women. What it means is that we can fix any problem under the sun. Alone, by ourselves! Right? Your baby is growing up, and...

How to find Motivation - Part 2

Yesterday we spoke about Motivation Killers and Drivers, and about what has been keeping you from pursuing your dreams and making them a reality?

The good news is you have absolutely NOTHING to lose and everything to gain! Because when you go for your dreams, there will be some problems and sometimes you won’t get the result you expect…

But that does NOT mean you’ve failed. But in fact, it means you’ve WON! You’ve won a valuable experience!

It might surprise you but the truth is that your problems are NOT your worst enemies; they are your good friends. They help you grow stronger and learn valuable experiences that will help you to achieve more in the future.

So you shouldn’t be afraid of problems, but instead, like them and be thankful for them! Be philosophical about it.

What’s keeping you from going after what you want and becoming who you want? Are you waiting for the right time to start? Well, the golden opportunity you’ve been always waiting for is TODAY, RIGHT NOW and at this very moment!

Don’t let it pass by. Decide what you want to have in your life and who you want to be… and then make it a reality!

It’s so simple. Just decide and do it! How to decide?

Successful people have a clear sense of purpose and direction in every area of their lives.

Your ability to set clear, specific goals for yourself in every area of your life will do more for you than any other single skill or quality. Absolute clarity about what you want is the starting point of all great accomplishments.

The more definite and focused you are, the easier it is for you to make better decisions on your priorities and the use of your time. The more time you spend on your most important goals, the more you accomplish, and the better you get at accomplishing even more. And the more you achieve, the better you feel about yourself, the more you feel like a winner, and the more you want to achieve. You put yourself onto an upward spiral that leads to ever-greater  accomplishments. You feel terrific about yourself.

Shall we build a plan? The following exercise belongs to Brian Tracy, Success guru.

Take a piece of paper and write the words “Dream List” at the top of the page, along with a current date. Create your own “five-year fantasy.”

Imagine that five years have passed and your life is now perfect in every respect. Imagine that all your goals have been achieved, all your problems have been solved and you are living the life of your dreams.

Imagine that your income, bank account, relationships, family life, health, work and career are ideal in every way. Create a burning desire for something that you’ve always wanted.

What would you be doing?

Who are the people around you?

Who is no longer there?

How much are you earning? What sort of lifestyle and family do you have? What kind of home, car, clothes and level of physical fitness would you have?

Describe your future vision for yourself in complete detail by writing out everything you could ever imagine wanting to have on your “Dream List.”

Some people will come up with a list of only five or ten items. Others will come up with a list of 200 or 300 items that they would like to accomplish in the next five years.

Once you’ve written down a list of your dreams and goals, a list of everything that you would like to have in your life, the next step is for you to set priorities on them.

Next to the items that are most important to you, the ones that can make the greatest difference in your life, and which you desire most intensely, write the letter ‘A’.

Next to the things that you would like to have but which are not as important or as life changing as the first category, you write the letter ‘B’.

Next to each of the remaining items, goals that you wrote down that you would like but which you don’t care about passionately, write the letter ‘C’.

Now, transfer all of your ‘A’ goals to a separate sheet of paper. Then ask yourself, “What one goal on this list, if I were to achieve it, would have the greatest positive impact on my life?”

Write ‘A-1’ next to this primary goal. Then ask yourself, “If I could only achieve one more goal on this list, which one would it be?”

The rest is coded A-2, A-3 and so on.

Your A-1 goal should be your “Big Dream,” the most important goal in your life. The accomplishment of this goal will lead you to the accomplishment of more of your other goals than other single goal on your list.

By deciding on this A-1 goal for yourself, you join the top 3% of high achieving men and women in our society.

Make a detailed plan of action how to achieve your BIG DREAM .

In the planning stage, you take a clean sheet of paper and write your A-1 goal at the top of the page in the present tense as though it were already a reality.

For example, you could write, “I earn $100,000 per year.”

Imagine yourself THERE, where you are going, where you want to be. Try and sense every detail: how do you look, how do you feel, who are the people around you? What do you know that you didn’t know before? And with all the confidence that you now have, look back at that person you used to be. When looking back, you would know what you need to do in order to achieve your Dream Life, you would know how to get there. That’s right, it is because now you are such a knowledgeable and successful person.

You then make a list of everything you can think of that you can do to achieve that goal. As time passes, you will think of additional things you can do, which you add to your list. You keep adding new ideas until your list is complete.

Review this plan each day, every week..

Resolve to do something every day to move yourself towards the accomplishment of your DREAM. No matter how small that thing could be

This daily work on your goals enables you to develop and maintain a certain degree of achievement. With this momentum, you will be astonished at how rapidly you begin to make progress on even your largest and most challenging goals.

To overcome the lack of motivation, you must become aware of the obstacles along the way; acknowledge them so you know WHAT to overcome, how to deal with your emotions.

Without motivation there will never be any motion that is required to achieve the improbable and overcome the impossible. We need that motion to sustain the energy and to keep us going.

It is what helped the creator of Hotmail to start a business in 1996 and develop it, without any business background and no money, to finally sell it on to Microsoft a few years later for $400 million.
It is what will take you where you want to be and it is what will help you to have what you want to have in your life.
Put YOUR sail up and sail across the ocean of obstacles, and you will inevitably become a happier person who will land at the Big Dream Island one day!

How to find Motivation - Part 1

Yesterday, we’ve ran a successful workshop on Motivation and How to Get to Your Dream.

Today, I am posting Part 1 of the Motivational workshop for you to follow up.

I will present to you with some really powerful material and we will find the answers to the everyday questions:

-          What is Motivation

-          Why the lack of Motivation

-          Where to find it and once you found it, how to keep it, and

-          How to get to your Dream, using that wonderful Motivation

 What is Motivation?

• It is the drive.
• It is the spark.
• It is the dream.
• It is the idea.
• It is the inspiration
• It is the beginning of all things.

My Dad usually says: Motivation doesn’t last. It’s like having a shower. I recommend it DAILY!

So why is it that Motivation doesn’t last? Where does it disappear to?

I am going to open a little secret for you here….

Do you know, that it is happening because we are programmed at a very early age and most of this programming is of a negative nature!

This negativity restricts us in achieving our potential.

The sting of criticism lasts longer than the balm of praise.

Multiple studies show that people pay keen attention to negative information. For example, when asked to recall important emotional events, people remember 4 negative memories for every positive one.

As a result, person develops a very limited belief or expectation of themselves and performs accordingly for the remainder of their life. Unless, they are fortunate enough to learn how to re-program themselves.

Lack of motivation and lack of enthusiasm are two of the main reasons for failure and of living a mediocre life. People lacking in motivation and enthusiasm are usually passive, blame everything and everyone for their circumstances, and often come up with many excuses why they shouldn't or cannot do this or that.

Would you please think with me, what are the Motivation Killers for you? What takes wind out of YOUR Sail when it comes to Motivation?

Nagging, Harsh criticism, Losing hope, No support, Low Self- Esteem, Lack of Faith, Procrastination, Fear what others might say, Lack of time to look into the subject or goal, Fear of failure because of the past experience, Absence of incentive.

And when somebody constantly nags you, doesn’t support you, shows no belief in you – what sort of state to you get into? Unable to perform/progress. Loose of interest and belief in your own actions. The list goes on.

Motivation is a vulnerable subject. It’s made up of many things and it can be impacted by many factors and people.

It is fair to say that motivation comes from within us and from outside.

Shall we now move away from the Negative? I think, we sometimes have too much of that in our life.

Let’s have a look at the Motivation Drivers? What motivates you? What keeps you moving and wanting to achieve?

Support, Other people’s belief in you, Praise, Enough rest? And what are you trying to achieve for yourself: promotion, find the love of your life, get a certain position in the society, prove yourself, open a new business venture?

Being happy, driven, on top of the world is a wonderful feeling that allows us to live and work to our strengths and enjoy the process of creating a positive experience and outcome for ourselves and people around us. 

Have you ever tried to shift your paradigm and start seeing possibilities instead of problems?

SOAR

The SOAR is based in Appreciative Inquiry – an approach which creates tremendous energy and great results through focused inquiry on strengths and successes.

STRENGTH – OPPORTUNITIES – ASPIRATIONS - RESULTS

Exercise: Now think about a life-changing experience of yours. Cast your mind back to this experience, embrace yourself in it and think about the time when you felt most alive, most involved and passionate!

1. What was happening?


2. Who was involved?


3. What strengths did you use to inspire yourself and motivate others?


4. What do you think made it an exceptionally positive experience?

Carefully think about your feelings and emotions. Use the positive base of it to achieve more goals in your life!

Exercise:
If someone with big magical powers comes to you right now and tells you that you may wish for anything you want to have and become anyone you want to be, what and who will you choose?

Let me clear it up that you may choose ANYTHING – no matter how big your dream is.
It may sound impossible or unrealistic for now. But trust me that we’re going to get to a very important point.

Come on! What do you want?

To have one million dollars? To be a world-famous Rockstar? To win a Gold medal in Olympics for your favourite sports? To find a love of your life, wonderful wife/husband?

It can be anything. And WHO do you want to be?

So let me ask you a question…

Why don’t you have what you just told me “right now”? Really, why? Have ever thought about it seriously?

What has been keeping you from pursuing your dreams and making them a reality?

Is it because you’ve always had this fear that you might not succeed and become disappointed along the way? Negative affirmations? Have you been programming yourself for not succeeding?

Do you want to learn how to set your Big Dream and start working towards it? Today, we’ve learn 2 valuable exercises: how to see your Motivation Drivers and how to immerse yourself in the past positive experience and use those strengths to your advantage.

Follow this blog now to find out an extremely valuable exercise that will help you with further steps towards your Dream. We’ll see you tomorrow!