Dear Followers,

Since we have moved this Blog to http://www.sortmylife.org , I felt kind of sorry for my first Blog here, with the Blogger. It's like it is left out, all by itself! So here I am, posting a copy of my latest article here. It is about analysing what factors might be pulling you down, leaving you Dream-less.

What if you don’t have a Dream?

Juvenile aspirations are no longer valid. Opportunities are missed. Whatever is achieved does not seem to be valuable enough. No energy or desire to set goals for the future. In other words, midlife crisis. Read on to get an idea of how to get out of this swamp of low emotions.

Step 1.  Formation. Get an understanding of where you are now.  How did you get there?

“Experience is not what happens to you; It is what you do with what happens to you.” Aldous Huxley

There are thousands of factors that influence our life and our emotions. Some of these factors are:
-          Life stages
-          Life choices
-          Family/Friends
-          Events besides your control
-          Education
-          Cultural environment

Become more aware of who you are today, what is your image, how are your actions and habits affecting people around you. What knowledge do you already posses and what do you feel remains as unclaimed knowledge? If you could take a magic wand and change certain outcomes in your life – what would they be?

Now, knowing what you know about your work and position in today’s society, ask that magic wand to give only those things that are really necessary. Write it down: what would they be?

Step 2. Obstacles. Decide, what is stopping you from making changes for the better.

OK, time to find those stoppers but not blame anyone. “Man is not the creature of circumstances. Circumstances are the creatures of men.” Benjamin Disraeli.

Identify what you can do to overcome or eliminate the obstacles or how you could possibly transform your current circumstances into positive opportunities.

Think of the things that may have been stopping you from achieving 100%. It is quite easy to go on with your current life, even if you are not quite happy with yourself. We manage our lives through conditioning and habit, there is not much to resist. Only the dissatisfaction with yourself. As your awareness grows and you grow within your knowledge, so does the dissatisfaction of non-achievement! That’s when you start to feel that it might be time for Change.

Time for Change is the Time of Realisation. This is when you understand that it is time to change your…

-          Emotion (E-Motion = Energy in Motion). It takes the same amount of energy to create positive or negative emotion. So why not to spend that energy wisely? Work out your own Energy Spending Map: resourceful and non-resourceful zones. Are you getting stressed, negative and angry too often or are you training yourself to be philosophical and calm?

-          Society Mirror – is more often than not an induced fiction we have collectively agreed to participate in through the hypnosis of social conditioning. “He is comparing me…” “She thinks I’m stupid…” “They don’t want to deal with me” etc, etc, etc. – how many hurtful messages are we sending to ourselves on a daily basis!

Constantly challenge this out-of-date reality when it sends you messages of such inadequacy!

-          Parental and Teacher Influences – Aren’t we all a bit guilty of the fact that we have developed a good number of complexes because of those whose direct task was to educate us and to wish us better?!
A sting of criticism is stronger than a balm of praise. We develop a very limited belief or expectation of ourselves and perform accordingly for the remainder of our life. Unless we are fortunate enough to learn how to re-programme ourselves.

We need to spend more time building children than repairing adults.
Step 3. Choices. Realise the life you want to lead. What choices do you have?

It is your programming that has created your choices in the past (events, society judgement, education choices). It is the choices that you make today that are creating the programmes of your future.

It is time to think about how we want our lives to be and to begin forming goals or reviewing existing goals for further change and development in life. Through your new, well realised, choices, you will create your new life, and take responsibility for your own self-determination.

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” Rumi

Start with your own self: your image, your smile and understanding of people. Work on yourself to progress. See the results and then get on with bigger plans in life.

Step 4. Good change. Time to get those special techniques which will help you overcome your resistance to change and discover the New You.

Many of the challenges we have in everyday life rise from the conflict between your own self and Time. We think that we can’t afford the time to work at instituting a new image or a new behaviour. The reality is, naturally, that we cannot afford not to do it!

Start from reframing the problem. Instead of saying you are overwhelmed with tasks to do and you don’t have the time or resources, see what happens if you say:

“I have enough time to do the necessary research because this will get me to where I want to be!”

See what happens. What seems to be impossible to achieve today, if you work on it with dedication, may become a fact of life tomorrow. Isn’t it worth trying? Just for once:  a couple of hours of research on the topic that has been bothering you for a long while and you might feel almost an expert! How would being an ‘expert’ make you feel?

Here are a few helpful tools on how to feel stronger, more powerful and progress:

1. Be aware
2. Positive self-talk
3. Recognise your achievements and celebrate them
4. Be able to forgive and be the bigger person
5. Take time, relax and recharge
6. See the world from other people’s perspective
7. Think “abundance” rather than “lack”
8. Feel your Passion!

Start afresh right now!

We have moved!

Check this out, this is our new website for Cherry Blossom Women, which will be updated with practical, down to earth advice on the weekly basis http://sortmylife.org/
We look forward to seeing you becoming more Powerful than even, meet you at http://sortmylife.org/
Yours,
Katya 

Actual Step by Step Help

So what is Cherry Blossom for women all about? You’ve been receiving news and articles from us for a while now. How can we help you?

Cherry Blossom Coaching can help you to:
-          Lead you through various stages of your career or personal transition;
-          Help you to understand and deal with emotions and challenges that come with the Change, when starting a new venture or when re-framing your personal life;
-          Work together on Goal Setting, using strong psychological foundations for achieving in the future;
-          Find your niche, discover the value of your business idea, strengthen your knowledge in the chosen market;
-          Learn how to impress and influence your future clients, business partners; or how to influence the most important people in your life;
-          Get a practical knowledge, learn to analyze and apply the latest marketing models, if in business;
-          Learn flexibility in personal life, but don’t be a pushover;
-          Develop and Action Plan and stick to it, while learning to be clever and flexible

Remember: everything starts from a thought. Without a thought there will be no action.

Very important also to remember that success, a-priori, starts with the positive mindset. So, all my clients, without a fail, first go through re-framing into a positive life-approach and through building up their self-belief and self-esteem.

No matter what the nature of the business is, the fundamentals are the same.

So now you know a little bit more about what we can give you. And we invite you to take up a Pre-Christmas Express Challenge.

Challenge yourself, challenge your life right now (4 weeks Express Programme) and enter the New Year as a complete New You.

 I offer you a Challenge right now: 40% off normal costs if you take our Express Programme and mention this post to me: new-me@cherryblossomcoach.com

To take advantage of this discount, bookings should be made strictly within 7 days of the publish date of this post.

 

Opportunities for you

 

These are the Chinese characters for Change.

The core of the first character represents the words: transform, rebel, revolt, flexible. While the core of the second character represents the words: make corrections, replace, experience.

So when you are going for a change in your life, keep in mind the following:

Rebel against these factors in order to transform and remember to be flexible

Ø  Loss of structure and security
Ø  Loss of self-confidence
Ø  Financial worries
Ø  Family stress
Ø  Feelings of rejection
Ø  Incapability with someone close to you
Ø  Bitter feelings about the past
Ø  Unhappiness with the present

Replace your life with these opportunities and treat your transformation as a positive experience

Ø  Define a new future
Ø  Re-establish confidence based on personal strengths
Ø  Freedom and flexibility in the use of time
Ø  See new possibilities in everything around you
Ø  Create new structure and security
Ø  Find new ways to meet people
Ø  Learn something new, every day
Ø  Renew a sense of purpose
Ø  Focus on a better future

I want to change my life!

I want to change my life, you say. I am not satisfied with the way I live now.

Some people don’t know where to start. Others may have an idea where to start but then feel completely overwhelmed with the amount of available information. And after all, it might be just too scary to face the unknown.

Quit my 9-5 job, move somewhere else

‘How is it going to be if I change my life around? Quit my 9 to 5 job… Move cities or even countries… Open my own business..’

Do you regard yourself as clever and successful? Successful people create circumstances. Unsuccessful - get buried under the circumstances. They find validation for why this or that is not working out. They justify their failures or ‘no luck’.

You can start right this moment!

What if I told you that right now you have absolutely everything you need to start changing your life around and getting positive, inspiring results? You might find it hard to believe, but you can, indeed, start right now, this very moment. Just decide what you want to do, create a burning desire or vision of your ideal future. Now, think what could be your first step towards achieving your Dream?

‘The only real limitation on your abilities is the level of your desires. If you want it badly enough, there are no limits on what you can achieve." -- Brian Tracy

What shall I do?

Many of us like to talk about problems, like to blame ‘circumstances’, like to go into endless discussions and amazing reasoning why something is not possible. Others keep chasing “secrets” in books and internet, searching for a magical answer to the everlasting question: “What shall I do?” And some people go a bit over board, inserting in Google “Sort my life!”

So what SHOULD you do? Stop searching for special secrets. There are no secrets. There are only techniques proven over the centuries, total focus and action. Imagine your Dream. Build your plan. And TAKE ACTION!

And as you do start changing your life into the way you want it to be, remember:

Your potential has no limits!

If you will conquer your thoughts and change the perception of yourself, you will be able to change your life to how you want it to be.

 

 

Should I leave him?

So you cannot go on like that anymore. You love him, sure,  (or so you think) but it’s just not working out. In any “department”. But hold on, the bedroom department, is actually quite good… Who cares now? You haven’t lived under one roof for over half a year. Every now and then you would get together because you are still used to each other and spend a steamy night. It all seems better after such night: problems kind of drift away and you are quietly whispering to yourself “See, you cannot live without me! Ha!”

But before you know it, problems creep back in again. The magic of that “every now and then” night wears off and you feel that you are facing the same old disagreements and misunderstanding. Cold shoulder. And, to be completely honest, you cannot really stand his life approach. There are a lot of things that just annoy you about him: he spends way too much time with his mother, he is far from being romantic, he is just not the type of person you always dreamt about. He is not your type. But leaving him seems like an improbable venture.  

This is the moment when you need to take a time out of your love-emotions, sit down and think logically. Take a piece of paper and a pen if you need to see a clearer picture before your eyes. Paper can take everything, so start writing!

Write down all the ‘pros’ = handsome, clever, his salary and future career are promising, he is a good father to your child (if applicable), honest. OK, now the ‘cons’ = doesn’t give you enough attention, spends all the time either at work or with his mother, too scrupulous with money, you have children together but he still hasn’t proposed to you, even after 6 years together. I am giving you an example from my past but obviously everyone’s situation is different. You will have points on your list that are typical to your own situation.

Have a good look at all these points, pay special attention to the ‘pros’ part of the list. You man deserves it, no matter how mad you are with him at present. Refer to Personality Types http://cherryblossomcoach.blogspot.co.nz/p/personality-types.html  Think: how you can press the right buttons with him? What is HIS language of love? For example for my ex-husband, the “language of love” was to be completely domesticated, to clean, cook, wash, scrub etc. And he would completely clam up and play deaf if I was asking him to go out with me: take me out for dinner or just take a walk through the city.

Are you prepared to talk his language of love and work for your relationship? Going through the analysis of different personality types, you might discover that you are totally prepared to change your ways for him and that your relationship is worth saving.

You might decide otherwise. Leaving a relationship is always difficult. You should be prepared to face not just financial and technical problems, but also lots of emotional stress. Most of the times, these are the simplest things: such as sitting down for a cup of tea in the evening and exchanging a few phrases or taking a stroll during the weekend; curling up together on the couch to watch a movie or giving your baby a bath together. You must be able to give yourself an honest answer: if I was to leave him, will I be able to overcome multiple spurs to get back with him? Weigh your situation: would you rather put up with his bad points and be with him OR start a fresh life without him where you will have to overcome your habits?

It took me 3 times to finally leave my ex- husband. I kept going back because it was an easier, more familiar life. Being without him meant being able to overcome difficulties by myself, alone. The desire to get back into my comfort zone was overwhelming. Even 5 months along after the final, 3^rd split, my heart was looking for excuses to go back. But the logical mind kept saying: there is nothing to do there, you’ve tried enough times.

Sticking to my new independent life was hard but I knew that eventually I would become happier and my self-esteem would come back. I knew that eventually my heart would get in harmony with my mind. I just need to be strong and keep going.

There is, however, also a different way. An easy and quick way because it is a way down. Don’t even need to do anything, just fold down your wings and fall. Falling, falling – and here is the rock bottom. There are no inner-battles there, feels good. By nature, this way is more approachable for us, the Law of Gravity works, you see. Free fall and ‘Ah, I wanted it so much!’  Yes, the euphoria of free fall cannot be compared with the difficulties of climbing up. But if we do choose the free fall, what is waiting for us down there? Pain from hitting the bottom, disappointment and loss of self-esteem, as well as loss of respect of some people. Possibly even loss of HIS respect. Will he respect you coming back again and again? So if you did decide to leave him in the first place, stick to your decision and be a strong woman. Don’t fall.

We all have different situations. Make sure that whatever way you choose, you need to feel that your mind and heart are living in harmony.

 

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